


I’m sad guys

by RyanWithSuperPowers



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), Gen, Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Update Fic, The Homestuck Epilogues, The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy, tags to be updated later when I’m not sulking, upd8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:53:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27314356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyanWithSuperPowers/pseuds/RyanWithSuperPowers
Summary: He didn’t even say goodbye?((in case you can’t be bothered to read the tags this includes implied suicide. this is about candy timeline Karkat thinking that candy timeline Dave has killed himself))
Relationships: Dave Strider & Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley/Dave Strider
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	I’m sad guys

**Author's Note:**

> Ficlet about my take on the most recent (10/31/2020) upd8
> 
> No beta, this took me like half an hour maybe, it’s not great quality.

It had always been an unspoken topic in your household, god tier immortality. Everyone still seemed to be aging, seeing as they all looked upwards of nine sweeps, whether they were mentally wrigglers at times or not. Still, they couldn’t just keep aging forever, unless SBURB allowed dying of old age, which didn’t seem very on brand. So eventually you, along with all the other mortals, were going to keep aging while everyone who went god tier got stuck at some age.

You had known Dave was going to outlive you long before you got to Earth C.

The death of his brother-slash-alternate-universe-ectoclone-human-lusus-thing really shook everyone up, yourself included. 

You were never close with Dirk. Hell, you wouldn’t even go as far as to say you could even remotely be considered friends, but he was Daves brother. Dave cared a whole fucking boatload about him. Maybe it’s super fucking selfish and unsympathetic of you to think of it this way, but it was like you lost a piece of Dave with him. 

None of you liked to think about death, anymore. You were out of the game, you cheated your way to the victory screen, here comes the happily ever after, you fucking earned it shitheads. There was no evil to be defeated, no vengeance, just. Wow. Dirks dead.

Alternia had you pretty desensitized to death before, and after all the shit that went down on the meteor it should be seen even more as the norm, probably. What happened to you? When did you get so comfortable?

You see the look in his eyes sometimes. 

You’re not completely ignorant, you’ve heard of trolls offing themselves before. When your only choices are death by drones or death by yourself, it makes sense to go with the less painful option. You’ve never been in that situation, yourself. You spent your whole life fighting to get away from that kind of situation. So yeah, you’ve seen it happen. It’s not really new to you. That’s really the only situation that ever made any sense to you where someone would actually want to die.

If you went god tier, would you want to live forever?

...

You try not to think about it.

————————————

You care about him, a lot. You care about a lot of these ridiculous human shitstains, but it’s different with Dave. You care about him too much, you think. You want to be the reason he stays. 

You’re scared to be the reason he doesn’t.

In the end, you leave anyways. Not in that way, not in the way you’re scared of him leaving, but it pains you to do it just the same. It’s not about him. You don’t want to make it about him, this is about other things. This is about the fate of trollkind, and xenophobic governments and xenophobic “friends” and maybe it’s about you, a little bit. Maybe it’s a lot about you, actually.

You think about him a lot. You go to the wedding, and yeah it fucking sucks, shit happens and there is no happily ever fucking after. Not for you, who cheated and got carried to the finish line, not once but twice. 

You’re relieved, a bit. You were a little scared you would end up being the only thing he stuck around for. You’re glad he has Jade, you’re glad they have each other. Maybe, since they’re both god tier, they can live for each other. They can live forever. 

You leave anyways.

————————————

Shits happening, things are going down, Crocker is a fucking madwoman, you’ve got an army to lead and secret rebellion plans to make and you don’t have time to deal with your own life, you’re too busy trying to save everyone else’s.

The Harley-Striders want to join the rebellion. 

You told them fuck that, and tried to send them back on their merry way. Emphasis on tried, because the all-mighty creators weren’t having that, apparently. 

The Harley-Striders officially join the rebellion.

It’s selfish, you know, but you couldn’t stomach putting them in the line of danger. They know, and they know that you know that they know, but they keep going on the bullshit “missions” you send them on. Busywork. If one of them was doing this to you, you would be incredibly insulted. They don’t say anything about it. There’s never anything to report, obviously, so it’s not uncommon that they just don’t. It’s not like it’s vital information you’re missing out on.

You don’t question it when they fuck off for days at a time, or when they hang around for longer than they need to. They’re adults, and they’re literal fucking gods. They can do what they want.

You’re learning to be less worried about it.

It’s hard, falling out of love with someone. Takes a lot of time. And a lot of effort.

————————————

For fucks sake, NO, you DON’T want to talk about Dave!

If only people would have asked you about this twenty years ago, or shit! Even ten years ago! Then maybe yeah, you would have been down to have a community feelings jam about how you broke your own gogdamn heart and how you fucking missed him, so! fucking! much!

But there is a WAR on, people! For fucks sake! What is wrong with everyone? Has the whole worlds priorities promptly fucked off just in time to screw everyone over?!

————————————

You don’t know if you’re in shock. It’s not like you didn’t see this coming. You just never thought you’d be there in the aftermath. 

He’s just. Gone. He left.

Your voice doesn’t break when you speak, but you feel like it should. Your mouth should feel dry, and your hands go cold, and your knees give out. But you feel just the same as you did yesterday, or this morning, or half an hour ago.

If you should be making eye contact with John, you aren’t. Should you be? Or are you allowed unfocused eyes, in lack of all the other tropes you expected.

“He didn’t even say goodbye?”

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to make this longer but I got sad.
> 
> I’m supposed to be Karkat for Halloween. How can I get in costume now, I’m just sad.


End file.
